Children, especially toddlers, seem to be out to get their parents all the time. It’s quite rare to see a fully cooperative toddler, who will eat his food without making a fuss, do as he’s told, does not show tantrums, etc. Why don’t they just behave? Read on…
Chances are, your toddler is a pro at getting under your skin. Well, he’s no different than any other two or three years old! Their aggravating ways, which were probably not detectable yet when they were babies, are at full throttle in toddlerhood, with meltdowns and chaos and battles of wills. The funny part is, these are the norm rather than the exception, during toddlerhood.
Fret not, for there is a silver lining. Even though they drive you bonkers, certain exasperating things
that toddlers do are important to their learning and emotional development. Let’s see what they are, shall we?
Making a mess
Everything from staining their clean shirt, to smearing chocolate all over their face and even pasting yogurt onto their hair, are not done to agitate you, mama… Instead, they’re just trying to learn up new stuff, in their way. You see, you probably did all that too, but you just do not recall being such a mess maker! Children, after all, learn differently from adults.
A study that was once published in Developmental Science suggests that mashing oatmeal between their hands or flinging chunky applesauce across the room can be very educational for the under three-year-olds group. Researchers observed over 70 toddlers and found that those who made a total mess with their food were then able to learn the words associated with those foods faster and more accurately. So, do remember this the next time carrots and peas get tossed around from your little one’s feeding chair!
Insisting on the same bedtime storybook over and over
This also goes for seeing the same TV programs, singing the same song, or playing the same game. It only seems irritating to you because as an adult, you’re programmed for the next thing and not get lagged in present time events. Children, on the other hand, are still learning and developing their vocabulary, and the very best way that they can do that is to hear and see and do stuff over and over again until it becomes a norm for them. Repetition helps a toddlers’ speech development too, and hearing the same words and phrases over and over again helps to cement them into their growing vocabulary. Plus, little kids find such joy in knowing what comes next, so why deny them?
Taking the word “No” to a new level
Drink your water, please. “No.”
Will you eat your cereal, please? “No.”
Let’s go change your diaper. “No.”
They may not even care what you’re asking: Would you like to wear your shorts or a jumper? “No.”
It’s not uncommon for little ones to take the word ”no” to a completely new level, much less to overuse it. This is of course, until they develop a new favourite, such as “nope”, or perhaps even “yuck.” This can turn out to be a very frustrating phase for parents to endure.
However, do remember that tucked inside all that seemingly unwarranted defiance is a child who is just developing some self-identity. This is an exciting time for toddlers, for they’re on a journey of self-discovery that involves the painful realization that their needs and wants are sometimes contrary to their caregivers. So, how about we leave it be for a bit? Especially since you know now that all those stubborn and uncooperative “No!” you’re so tired of hearing is your child asserting a form of independence and developing a healthy concept of self.
Clinging to you for dear life
Imagine the scenario where you’re entering a room full of friends and their little ones and your toddler’s arms instantly turn into a pair of velcro attached to you. Yes, this is yet another phase toddlers go through, where they suddenly feel the need to cling on to you for apparently no reason. These phenomena may happen at the most inconvenient times imaginable.
A clingy toddler can be quite unexpected, and not to mention irritating, when you planned to chat with fellow moms while your children bond over block towers. It can also be a serious annoyance when you’re leaving for a date night with your hubby and the babysitter has to pry the frantic little one out of your arms.
Take heart: A young child who clings to mommy or daddy is a child who feels safe and secure with them, which is a very good thing.
What’s more, that tight grip around your neck is your toddler learning how to communicate to you that he or she feels uneasy in a situation — which opens the door for you to offer the reassurance needed before considering to join the others at play.
Throwing temper tantrums
Temper tantrums are probably the most bothersome toddler behavior, perhaps because they tend to happen in the grocery store, at a friend’s house, or at the end of a long day — pretty much anytime and anywhere you don’t feel like dealing with them.
Imagine having friends over for tea and having to deal with your little one’s temper while refilling the drinks or offering more pastries. If that is you in any way, rest assured that there’s a bright side to those meltdowns.
Bottling up anger and frustration isn’t good for anyone, toddlers included. Your child is at the beginning stage of a journey we were once on too. Every one of us had to go through this phase, to learn healthy skills and coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult emotions instead of just repressing them.
That’s not to say parents should give in to the screaming, kicking, and flailing—but rather, do strive to keep your cool, figure out what’s going on with your child, and remember that it’s an opportunity to teach them about dealing with anger constructively.
Refusing to sit still
“What an energetic child you have there”. How many of us have heard this about our little one before, but we’re convinced that the true meaning of that sentence was:
Can’t your kid sit still for a second? Or, how about: “If only I could bottle up all that energy…”
Yes, as a parent of a toddler who can’t sit still, we’re sure you too would like to bottle it up – and dispose of the bottle where no one else can find it, especially when it’s time to sleep and junior is nowhere near sleepy.
Well, the technology to encapsulate a toddler’s hyperactivity has not been created yet —not for disposal, consumption, or sale. Hence, you’ll just have to see the positive side of this and try to make some sense of it.
This natural desire for movement in toddlers could keep them healthier throughout their lives. In a 2005 study published in the journal Science, researchers at the Mayo Clinic identified a connection between fidgeting and the number on the scale. Not surprisingly, people who had trouble sitting still tended to weigh less than those who were completely comfortable staying off their feet.
There’s a good chance the toddler who squirms while in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, or runs laps around the house before bedtime, won’t have to struggle to maintain a healthy weight later in life.
Dawdling
It’s safe to say that most parents have gone through the frustration of watching their toddler mosey around as if time isn’t a factor when you are in a hurry to leave the house for an appointment. Believe us, your desire for efficiency has to take the back seat for now, for toddlers, when they feel like it, they will often behave as if they have all the time in the world.
Well, for one, they can’t tell the time yet, or fully grasp the concept of it for that matter—but yes, it’s undeniably still frustrating!
A better perspective? Remembering that a bit of dilly-dallying is good for him, and the rest of the family too. In a world where we all feel chronically rushed, with our brains as cramped as our calendars, a child rambling around the house talking to himself instead of putting on his shoes is sometimes a needed reality check. He needs to slow down, and so do I.
Moral-cum-conclusion
Toddlers can drive us nuts, but that’s often a good thing because the stuff that makes us batty is integral to their mental and emotional development. Just count yourself lucky that at the very least, they’re nothing short of adorable when they’re sleeping!
