It’s not uncommon for a little child to feel a tad jealous of a new sibling, partly due to the fact that suddenly, he or she isn’t the only person who has mom and dad’s attention and affections anymore. And while there will eventually be plenty of upsides to having a brother or sister, easing the transition from the only child to the oldest child will take a bit of patience and planning.
Here are some ways to help an older brother or sister to prepare, adjust, and warm up to the presence of a younger sibling.
Be reassuring
Prepare your child beforehand for the arrival of a sibling by explaining that while the new baby will be needing much of your attention and time, it’s not going to change how much he or she is loved and cherished. Explain that the baby will cry a lot and will be constantly waking up in the middle of the night and that you will need to hold the baby a lot. Don’t forget to explain too, that the baby will have to grow quite a bit before he or she can be a playmate, and that from then on, it’s going to be awesome!
Regressing before adjusting
When there is a new baby around, it is normal for a toddler to regress into some old habits that you thought were long gone, so don’t be alarmed if junior seems to have forgotten how to use the potty or suddenly needs the pacifier again! It just means that they yearn for more attention from mom and dad.
Make time for one-on-one attention
While this seems like something that needs no reminding of, it may be a bit of a challenge to remember to do so and do it consistently, even if you’re worn out tending to the new baby. Just 10 or 15 minutes of one-on-one time does wonders for a toddler’s spirit and mood, for it serves as a reminder to the little one that Mommy and daddy still care.
A sling carrier for baby
If you don’t already own one, investing in a sling carrier for the baby might be helpful, for it keeps baby warm and comfy, leaving you with more opportunities to pay due attention and tend to your older child without distractions.
Involve your toddler in baby-care activities
Many toddlers are found to be fond of ‘helping’ to care for the new baby in the house. With any luck, they’ll feel more involved and needed, even by just helping to bring Mommy the pacifier, or by singing a lullaby to the baby. Try not to get upset though, when your older child’s “help” is not very helpful, for he or she is, after all, trying hard to get with the program, so to speak. At times, a toddler’s ‘helpful’ actions may get out of hand, like say, shoving a pacifier into his sleeping sibling’s mouth. Instead of resorting to harsh words when the little one’s intentions were good, a steer in a different direction, like for some one-on-one time reading on the couch, would get the job done nicely.
Be ready for simultaneous meltdowns
Many moms of toddlers and babies can attest to synchronized scream fests. Think of a hungry newborn baby and a sleepy, cranky toddler! The main thing here is to be emotionally prepared for this because it can be draining. Keep in mind that all that fussing does not mean that you’re inadequate in any way as a mom, but rather, you’re a strong and patient one to be keeping your cool while trying your best to see to the needs of two very young children on your own. Just remaining calm and tending first to whichever child’s need that is more urgent, or most easily fixed, is the best way to go.
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