The experience of being a new mom is filled with an array of emotions. One minute you’re feeling joy and the next, you may feel down, due to tiredness, concern, worry, etc. It’s perfectly normal to experience these changes of emotions, for they are, for most women, part and parcel of recovering after birthing a baby.
However, there is a fine line between what is known as ‘baby blues’ and a case of postpartum depression (PPD). While the latter could turn out to be a serious threat to the wellbeing of a new mom, in this article, we’re looking into baby blues.
Three to five days after your baby has arrived, you’ll start to experience some ‘switching back and forth’ of emotions – one moment, everything feels perfect, and then just like that, without warning, you’ll feel tearful, hopeless, irritable, etc. So much so that if your family members are not familiar with this, they may be wondering what on earth is going on?
Chances are, you may be experiencing ‘baby blues’ – a very common result of hormones, tiredness, and overwhelming feelings of responsibility for your tiny new arrival.
What baby blues look and feel like
You feel tearful for no apparent reason: Your body is in a constant state of change a few days after giving birth. Your pregnancy hormones are on the way out and your breast milk is coming in. Bawling out because your hubby forgot to buy bread isn’t weird in your special case, so go ahead and weep if you need to.
Lashing out at family and friends: Unlike the model mother you planned on being, you find yourself snapping and lashing out at those who are there and are actually trying to lend you a hand. Yes, when the whole episode subsides, it’s time for the dreaded feeling of regret and guilt to take over. When will this ever end? We can’t say exactly when, but what you can do is, let your family know that you’re sleep-deprived and are undergoing some massive physical and mental adjustments, which may be interfering with you on the inside. (Sounds about right, isn’t it?) Don’t worry, they’ll understand.
You’re exhausted but just can’t sleep: You’ve already heard about this – how tired you’d be, how difficult it will be to get some sleep, etc. Still, none of that helps right now that you’re experiencing it all. All those advice about sleeping when your baby sleeps, seem to work perhaps once or twice, but for the bigger part of it, you’re just feeling sleepy and awake at the wrong times. This is a typical sign of the baby blues. Just keep reminding yourself that it’ll get better in time.
You can’t help feeling worried all the time: This is another classic baby blues symptom. Your baby is perfectly healthy and arrived safe and sound, and yet you feel so anxious about everything from the temperature of the nursery to the safety of his baby cot. As overwhelming as these feelings can get, rest assured they won’t last! You’ll feel more confident as the days and weeks go by, so let it ride and try to think the happiest thought you can manage to.
It feels as if your brain just stopped working: It’s a temporary condition called the baby brain, a sign of the baby blues. They may be times when visitors or even family members are talking to you and yet nothing is registering in your brain. Relax, this is all part of the change happening right now and will go away as things start to settle.
Coping with baby blues
As helpless as your case of baby blues may seem to be, there are always ways to get around them, or at least, lessen their outcome in your life as a new mom.
Here are some useful tips:
Make an extra effort to get some sleep: Although this advice is easy to give, as a new mom, understandably, it’s all up to your body. So, if a restful slumber is not going to happen, at least, take whatever time you can to lay down, close your eyes, empty your thoughts and try to relax! It will still help re-energise you and reboot your system.
Breastfeeding? Eat well, please! Sure, have the chocolate you deserve, but keep your energy up with some good nutritious meals to breastfeed your baby and also for your own health needs. Remember that the healthier you eat, the better your mood will be. Think tuna sandwiches, scrambled eggs, and tomatoes, comforting chicken soup, etc.
What’s the rush? Just take it slow: Looking too far ahead can be overwhelming. Life with a new baby changes very quickly, so just focus on the here and now, and tackle each task as they come by, the best you can. No one expects more from you, and the last thing you should be doing is thinking of ways to cope in the days, weeks, or even months to come.
Ask for help: Don’t try and be super-woman. If you need someone to bring you a cup to tea, change a nappy, or find your house keys, ask and it will be done!
Cry if you need to: If you’re emotional, let it out. What’s the point of letting it build up to a boil when it’s easier to just cry out loud and be done with it. After all, you’ll feel much better afterward!
If you need to, limit the number of visitors: Of course, all your family and friends want to come and welcome the new arrival, but don’t be afraid to say no if you’re not up for it.
Worried about household chores and pending errands? Make a list: If you’re a to-do list person, this is definitely something that might help overcome the daunting thoughts in your mind. Write a list of what needs to be done now and what can wait, and delegate some of the tasks to family members – they’ll be more than happy to help.
Run a bath: Relax and look after yourself. Adding a few drops of tea tree oil can also help stitches to heal.
How long will it last?
Those with the baby blues, while feeling low for a few days or week, can be reassured that they will feel more like their usual selves quite quickly. In fact, this is one of the main differences between baby blues and postnatal depression (PND).
PND on the other hand, may not become apparent for a few weeks, and symptoms can last for months, especially if you don’t get help. One way to spot the difference between baby blues and PND is the persistence of all the signs and symptoms. While the baby blues comes and goes pretty quickly, postnatal depression may not be apparent straight away and gets progressively worse. So if a certain negative emotion, feeling, or thought goes on continuously for more than a couple of days, and you just can’t be reassured and you seem to experience elevated feelings of anxiousness, in particular about the welfare of the baby, you need to seek help.
