For toddlers between the age of 1 and 3, tantrums often stem from trying to communicate a need, e.g. hunger, a soiled diaper, a toy that’s out of reach, etc, but not being successful due to lack of language skills. When all their attempts to let you know what they want to fail, they might resort to throwing a fit.
A toddler’s outburst of a tantrum can be difficult to accept, regardless if it happens when you’re alone with your child or in the company of others. Short of having a meltdown yourself due to your child’s tantrum, here are some ways that may help you cope with the little one’s hissy fit.
Leave it be for a bit
Linda Pearson, author of The Discipline Miracle finds that sometimes a child just needs to get his anger out, so we should just let him. Just ensure that he is in a safe environment and there is nothing around which could harm him. This way, a child learns to vent in a non-destructive way. This also lets your angry child get his feelings out, pull himself together, and regain self-control without engaging in a yelling match or battle of wills with you.
Ignoring, the good way
During a tantrum, emotions take full control and reasoning does not help. Nothing a parent can do or say at that moment will be able to turn it around or makes things better. Trying to talk to a child or reason with him might make it worse. Wait till things have cooled down before talking it out.
Know why and fret not
Toddlers usually have a vocabulary of less than 100 words and can’t link more than two together at a time. Their communication is limited, yet they have all these thoughts and wishes and needs to be understood. When you don’t get the message or misunderstand, they freak out to release their frustration.
Empathize with your kid
It’s not necessarily the easiest thing to do when you have a little one throwing a noisy tantrum, but it’ll go a long way in reassuring him that Mummy understands that he’s angry. You could even try asking what’s wrong if the outburst has just begun. If by any chance your little one points to an older sibling, it could be that big brother or sister took a toy he was playing with and he wants it back.
Give a hug
And by that, we don’t mean a cuddly, playful one but rather a firm one, for chances are junior might not be in a mood for hugs. A warm, firm hug regardless of the temper shown might reassure you’re angry toddler that he is still loved no matter what.
It might be time for a snack or a nap
Ask any parent of toddlers and they’ll agree that being tired and hungry are the two biggest tantrum triggers. If a little one happens to be already on the brink, it won’t take much emotionally to send him over. After all, wouldn’t you feel cranky too if you need some sleep or if you’re hungry and have no time to eat? With young kids, who have greater sleep and food needs, the effect is magnified.
It the meltdowns occur at the same time each day, such as before lunch or naptime and in the early evening, it might not be a mere coincidence — Offer his meal a little earlier and prep him for a nap, or just a little downtime to watch some TV, for instance.
Just stay calm and keep your cool
This is a much easier said than done, but experts insist you must keep your cool during a child’s tantrum, or risk getting into a power struggle and make the whole thing escalate.
Keep in mind that part of the reason kids resort to tantrums is to get attention and it matters little to them if it’s positively or negatively. While one of the advice earlier is to ignore the little one during a bout of the tantrum, talking in a soothing voice while you go about your chores shows your child that you’re not going to let his behavior get to you. It also helps you stay relaxed and keeps you from raising your voice unnecessarily. In a way, the deliberate calm tone helps prevent things from getting out of hand.
Get junior away from there
Toddlers have a very short attention span, so getting an angry child away from a distressing place may help cool him down. This is especially good to remember when you’re out of the home with your little one. If a meltdown occurs because of something he wants but can’t have, pick him up and take him away from the place. Eventually, he’s bound to cool down.
