Can you imagine feeling so much joy as a new mom, and feeling so much love for your newborn that words can hardly describe it, and then, suddenly, without warning, an overwhelming feeling of sadness takes over and you have no control over it whatsoever? What just happened there? Why are you feeling this way? Is this even normal? If you’re a new mom and any of these happens to be uncomfortably familiar to what you’ve been experiencing recently, it’s time to pay attention, mama!
Feeling blue, Mama?
There is actually a term for what you’re experiencing, and it’s called baby blues. It makes its appearance into your life during the first few days of having your baby. Since 4 out of 5 new moms experience some form of baby blues during their early postpartum days, it isn’t exactly something uncommon. In fact, baby blues does not discriminate – new moms of any race, age, status, background, etc, may experience it, and in most cases, it can be a devastating stage to endure as a new mom. Many moms also tend to entertain self-blame for the way they feel, when the fact is, they are not at fault, whatsoever!
What causes the baby blues?
Childbirth may result in hormonal changes for new moms, and this could give rise to erratic mood swings, hence the baby blues. For many women, the amount of the hormones estrogen and progesterone suddenly decreases after childbirth, causing erratic mood swings. Many new moms may find themselves also feeling tired and even depressed. To make matters worse, not being able to eat on time, having poor appetite, and lack of sleep, contribute greatly to this issue.
Baby blues may last a few days, although it is known to also stick around for a fortnight or so. They should subside on their own without any need for medical intervention, and the new mom should be able to carry on with her life, enjoying her status of parenthood. However, there may be incidents where these feelings of helplessness and sadness persist and just won’t let up. If you find yourself having to endure a sickening feeling of unexplained sadness exceeding the two-week mark, it’s time to take notice, for it may not be merely baby blues.
Postpartum depression
If the moody blues you’re experiencing during the first few days of having your baby does not subside in two weeks or so, it’s time to seek help, for it may be postpartum depression instead of just baby blues. The symptoms of postpartum depression can easily be mistaken for the baby blues, only they are far more severe and may go on for a longer period too. In any case, there are actually some solid signs that can help you recognise if you are indeed experiencing postpartum depression, and need to seek professional help.
8 ways to tell if you have postpartum depression
1. Your so-called baby blues just won’t let up.
As mentioned a few times earlier here, it isn’t uncommon to feel sad and moody during the first few days of having a new baby. Hormonal changes could be responsible for this, and it usually checks itself soon after, which should in turn result in you feeling better. If that isn’t the case though, and you continue to feel down and out, or if it just gets worse for you, then it is probably not just baby blues. Arrange for an appointment with your healthcare provider, and they should be able to point you towards the right direction in dealing with it.
2. You can’t help crying for no apparent reason
Constantly breaking down in tears is a clear, loud signal that one may be heading towards depression, or perhaps is already there. For new moms, it may seem that any little mistake by her partner or family member seems to trigger the waterworks. It may be a sensitive issue for others to broach, so it really is up to you to recognise your own feelings and actions, and do something about it. Talking to your doctor will be a good first step to take, believe us.
3. You no longer enjoy all the things that used to make you smile
Does the thought of spending some time with your partner put you off now instead of putting a smile on your face? Do you find that the mere thought of preparing yourself a favourite meal makes you sick now? Do any of your hobbies have any appeal to you now at all, or do they just seem boring and a waste of time? If things that you used to enjoy no longer appeal to you, and everything in life just seems to bring you down, it’s not too difficult to conclude that something is totally off, isn’t it? It is time to talk to your doctor.
4. You are more indecisive than you’ve ever been!
Not being able to make simple everyday decisions, such as what to eat, even, is a big tell-tale sign of depression, and it must not be pushed aside like it’s no big deal. It is a big deal when you can’t decide if you want to feed your baby or not, or if you want to change their diaper or not. These are in fact early signs of depression which can get worse if you just leave it be. So do bring it up with your doctor as soon as possible.
5. You’re constantly doubting your capabilities as a new mother
Let’s face it; who doesn’t want to be the best mom ever to their baby? But hey, who can be? The answer is, every one of us can only do what we are physically and mentally capable of, and everyone is different in their capabilities. But it does not conclude, in any way whatsoever, that any other woman out there is a better mom than you. Remember that, Mama! If you still, however, feel overly consumed by this notion, talk to a trusted friend or family member – and don’t forget to bring it up with your doctor too, in case you need some professional help to feel better.
6. You can’t seem to get enough sleep and/or rest
This is one not to be taken lightly, for as humans, we all need to sleep and/or rest well for our bodies to function well; new moms are no exception. In fact, you may need to rest more than anyone else in your family, for your body needs to recover from the rigours of childbirth. If severe lack of sleep has already wreaked havoc on you, seek the help of a family member, or even a doctor for some much-needed health evaluation and advice.
7. There have been stressful changes in your life, which are out of your control
Life is such that things happen, dear Mama, and you know what, you are not alone! Regardless if you are having serious issues with your partner, or if you are not satisfied with a family member’s attitude, or even if you are facing financial issues which seem hopeless at the moment, we have all been there, and done that. First and foremost, if these changes have already negatively affected you and you feel absolutely defeated, take to a professional, be it a medical officer, or a counselor, or even a trusted friend or family member. It is the first step you need to take before proceeding to the next stage of your life as a new mother.
8. Thoughts keep coming to you, about harming yourself, or your baby
These may sound terrible, and may even be uncommon, but a small number of women do go through them. Dangerous thoughts like these are indications that one may already be experiencing postpartum depression, and in some rare cases, they could also be a sign of postpartum psychosis, which is a mental condition known to accompany severe depression.
If you notice or recognise any of the eight signs mentioned in this article, please take the first step. It may be the hardest to take, but it will help you in your effort to get better and start to relish your life as a new mother. You deserve to live a joyful, fulfilling life, Mama, so take good care of yourself!
